Sometimes I wonder
how it would feel
to just be numb
all the time
To feel the way I used to feel,
like nothing ever hurt me, nothing broke through
my cold, stainless steel walls
Sometimes I wonder
if I would rather feel that way again
Because sometimes emotion
is just too cumbersome to carry every day

I remind myself that
to feel emotion is to be human, to be alive
And I very much prefer being alive
to being a cold, steel statue
Resting forgotten at the bottom of the sea
wishing she could see the sky again

Being alive is worth the pain
of having a heartbeat.