Back on the loop past my old flame's house again I sleep in and I show up late because I can't get you off my mind Between failing friendships and endless gap years I feel like there isn't much of my heart left But I'm still here And I cry but I don't talk about it anymore. The people I love are a text message and 45 short miles away But I'm too scared to cross the distance Emotional or physical I'm too ******* scared to even ask for prayer Singing out hymns to an estranged father imortalized in memories from last year and in the gruesome images depicted in stained glass windows,
Hallowed be this place in me. Hallowed be the space in between my ribs.
Β and my brother is a gospel singer to a basement full of people who are just as scared as I am And He rides the crowd like Jesus walked on water He lifts his hands caught in the same spirit that torments the angels and demons alike And maybe god hears him screaming through the walls like I do Maybe god cries too But if he does he does a good job hiding it And my parents are on the continent that I turned my back on a year ago. I traded family dinners for a decomposing raft and tried my luck at the sea Only crossing the water to drink wine and share the communion of post apocalyptic dreaming or political warfare we are so horrified and mesmerized by The fellowship of the modern day saints,
Hallowed be this place in me. Hallowed be the hole in my head.
Icehead baby don't you come to close to me I'm friged baby I'm too far gone to see And I've been dreaming about summer while I've been reading up on life in Antarctica Cold tundras and odd communities I could work in maintanince for the price of living Meanwhile I'm surviving my own tundra the endless night never gives way to sun for seasons on end And my friends grow wings and fly into the sun Β a thousand variations of Icarus they're going to be dead and gone on while I'm still landlocked in concept Or in orbit far in space Wherever I am, I am distant Living on the memories from years past So I'm driving the endless loop past an old flame's house again Connecting the dots between my ideas of dependency space and time And I'm fine In love with the seclusion of the towering trees The security of a prolonged gap year The warmth of the ice in my head And as the roots of the divine cover my mouth and bloom in my lungs I sigh and give into my year of hibernation.
Hallowed be this place in me Hallowed be the expanse of this space.
Pessimistic yet at peace. I'm taking an extended senior year and I'm not really okay with it but it's alright I guess. Going through some things. Also listen to Icehead by Alex G, it's brilliant and beautiful and everything I need right now.