I lay in my bed and for the first time this week,
I have not woken to the alarm.
It's Monday and it's my day off.
And the house is quiet.
And a little thought comes to me and says
"hey, you know nobody's home right?"

Now, there is nothing that will get me out of bed quicker
than knowing nobody's home.
And with a big smile and a medium sized skip,
I go to the kitchen,
sleep disheveled and mostly naked.
I put on the kettle and let Ellie out for a ***.
And I make coffee and I run a bath and I feed the pets.
All while I am mostly naked,
because...
Ha! nobody's home.

And I have a bath,
with the door wide open
and I sing and play with the bubbles,
blowing  them on the floor,
because...
well...
no body's home...
Such luxury.

You see,
my house is usually full of teenagers,
it's full of noise and cooking and computer games
and woofing and laughter
and music and...
boy smells...
yuck!
So now,
I can make the house smell of my bubble bath
and my perfume
and make it smell clean.
Ahhh...Such decadence!

After my bath I dry myself and dance to music and sing,
I put on only my underwear,
but I don't care,
because,
nobody's home
and this is all too much fun.

And,
because nobody is home,
I turn up the music and dance with the dog,
singing so badly.
She is glad no body is home too.

Now,
there is a little space under the table,
just big enough for a hidy hole,
a perfect place to put some warm blankets
and make a me sized snuggery.
And so I do,
laying a blanket over the table and covering my nest,
I am content to just be.
I take some books and a drink and some biscuits...
for later you see...
or if I have visitors,
because,
you must always be polite if you have visitors
and you should offer them biscuits.

But then a little voice reminds me
"you know there is some double chocolate cake in the fridge right?"
so, I take a big slice,
I mean,
it would be rude not to,
and I sit,
in my underwear,
eating cake
in my blanket fort.
No one will know and Elie won't woof me out.
Oh.. such utter indulgence!

And after a while of my misbehaving,
because I know I am,  
I think I might need to try a cigarette.
So I find the secret stash,
which is not so secret any more,
and I lay in my little blanket nook and light up.
After the first two puffs and plenty of coughing...
because I don't actually smoke,
I get the hang of it.

And I lay
quietly contemplating my life
and the world and the universe...
and how there managed to be a sweet
stuck to the underside of the table.

And during my musings it slowly dawns on me
that today is actually Tuesday...
and I am now late for work...
which means that every body is,
in fact
home.