It all started
The day I departed
Toward our Winchester apartment
The farthest we had been apart
Since we started talking
I painfully remember
You & tip (our dog) were hit by a car
Nobody was injured
Only I fell apart

Inside I lost it
and felt nauseous
Thinking the most horrible
and awful thoughts
What if it all went wrong
and the sad story of my life
had just continued on
This insane belief
that those I held close
would soon be gone

My selfishness prevented
seeing how it effects you
I will never get over the fact
I wasn't there to protect you

Reliving the seconds
I was breathless
Feeling so helpless
Instead of confessing
Post traumatic stress
rapidly manifested
to manic depressive
and verbal aggression
Directed at my best friend

It's like the Marine in me
Will wear anything
but a heart on his sleeve
I'm still greiving
I can't believe it was me
that decided to leave
Even despite
Nivea's "25 reasons"