so this isn't really a poem buuuuut i need to rant so yaaah

let's talk about the boring part of eating disorders, the parts that are never thought of because they seem absurd, or maybe they don't seem absurd, maybe they are so minuscule that they aren't even thought of...until you go through with it. how about the part where some days, you're doing so well. you eat. and you actually WANT to eat more. the thoughts of not eating aren't there because for a little bit, you're feeling comfortable in your own skin. you think, "hey.. i must be cured!" THENN the other days. the days you're all alone all day, with your thoughts only. when you eat, but are instantly full. wellll, maybe you aren't full, but your mind has decided enough is enough.  but of course, you have to eat... so you do. you entertain your thoughts. you remember why you feel so body confident, so happy/satisfied in your skin. it's because of the progress you've made throughout the years. the hard work you've put into your body............but you can't give up. so you don't. you sit and sulk "will this meal change my body?" and you know that that ONE meal won't, but it's the fact that you'll have to say that..everyday... and that adds up