I was eaten away
By a monster inside of me.
It feeds on the feelings of
Shame.
It feeds on the
Fears I have.

When I look it in the face and I tell it
No.
I am better than this,
It knows all the right words to tell me
I am nothing.

It reminds me
I have felt the greed of too many men as they steal,
Yet tell me I am not enough.
That I walk down hallways,
Embarrassed to be standing,
To be walking,
To be seen by the wit of cruel souls.
That I believe the taunts
Before accepting the compliments.
That every night when I go to sleep
I will not rest.
That I will give up on trying and lye Awake
Tired and unable
Dangling off the edge of my bed.
Letting the cold slip into sheets that Were once
So warm.
It reminds me that I know better
Than to feel such naïve elation.

I have seen the guilt
Arise in the eyes of the people I love.
As they question where they went Wrong.
I stand before them
Exposed,
They preach, keep trying.
And I no longer have the will to Confess the comfort
I feel
When I give up,
Because my monsters
Are so friendly when they tell me
I'm better off in their company.