I remember that feeling
that heavy weight I held
just wanting to die already
but being terrified of hell

I was suicidal
but only in my mind
I could never make my body commit that selfish, wanted crime

my breathing had no point
and my life felt like death
I couldn't see past the pain that I wanted to forget

"you'll always be alone" kept ringing through my head
telling me that all would be fine when I was finally dead

I just wish I could travel back
and tell me where I am
out of that black hole
and into life again

they say it gets better
which is hard to believe
but I now can testify
that it rang true for me