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Avery Langcaster Nov 2017
I sit up in my bed, wondering if you feel the same tension that courses through me. Your feet trill in and out of your room, and you leave the hall light on. It illumines the cracks around my door and I wait to see shadowy feet at the bottom accompanied with a faint knock. It never comes.
Is it just me? Am I the only one breaking from our recent distance of souls?
We used to be so in sync, and together we made a harmony that I now can only recall like an aged dream. It seems that we have both switched keys in this song, and now our notes only create dissonance. I was sure our tunes would meet again to compose a grand resolution, but it seems that you stopped listening long ago.
Dec 2015 · 378
it gets better
Avery Langcaster Dec 2015
I remember that feeling
that heavy weight I held
just wanting to die already
but being terrified of hell

I was suicidal
but only in my mind
I could never make my body commit that selfish, wanted crime

my breathing had no point
and my life felt like death
I couldn't see past the pain that I wanted to forget

"you'll always be alone" kept ringing through my head
telling me that all would be fine when I was finally dead

I just wish I could travel back
and tell me where I am
out of that black hole
and into life again

they say it gets better
which is hard to believe
but I now can testify
that it rang true for me
Sep 2015 · 468
You Left
Avery Langcaster Sep 2015
You left a hole in my heart when you said "Goodbye."
I begged at your feet for a reason why.
Your face, stone, showed no sympathy
At the broken pieces you made of me.

You left a hole in my heart when you walked away.
I keep trying to fill it, but it stays the same.
Everyday, a challenge to breathe.
Every second, more depressing.

You left a hole in my heart now that I'm alone.
The darkness consumes my lonely soul.
Happiness is just a faint memory
Of the life I lived when you were with me.
Prequel to Better Off
Aug 2015 · 1.6k
Better Off
Avery Langcaster Aug 2015
I'm better off without you
I'm really starting to see
Now that time has past
I've dried my tear soaked sleeves

I thought you were my angel
What a cunning disguise
Turns out you were my demon
Crippling my mind

So thanks for the memories
But I'm finally moving on
It seems that to catch my breath
I needed you gone
Jan 2015 · 424
And I Love Too Much
Avery Langcaster Jan 2015
Why do
the ones
I love

the most
put me

the most
torture ?
Dec 2014 · 422
Avery Langcaster Dec 2014
Life is a mountain.
We're all here trying to climb it, always searching for the top.
There are things that promise to bring us there, such as money or power, but they still leave us climbing.

Most people will spend their lives on this endless hunt for contentment- the top of the mountain.
But there are some who realize that the top of the mountain is only an illusion that keeps us climbing.

You can either spend your life controlled by the climb, or you can execute the only power you possess, and let go.

*Maybe, upon reaching the bottom, there is finally relief.
Dec 2014 · 648
Bottled Up Opinions
Avery Langcaster Dec 2014
I'm afraid to speak my mind
because I'm afraid I'll offend
So I keep it all inside
Control the message that I send

They say not to hoard feelings
but don't you dare disagree
Because no answer is wrong
unless it contradicts me
Dec 2014 · 247
Avery Langcaster Dec 2014
I'm slowly, silently dying.
No one knows. No one cares.
Nov 2014 · 421
Avery Langcaster Nov 2014
You are a diamond.
Don't sell yourself as silicon.
Nov 2014 · 211
Avery Langcaster Nov 2014
I've missed you with a never ending sorrow, because the moments without you are like flowers with no color.
Still alive, yes, but the beauty has been stripped away.
You are the color to my world.  
With you, there is beauty.
Nov 2014 · 2.4k
Avery Langcaster Nov 2014
Genuine smiles no longer come easy.
I've been robbed of my light.
Something must be wrong with me.
The lines have blurred of what's right.

Things that once would have brought joy, I now look at with disdain.
This pessimistic heart of mine has grown more through the pain.

My parents aren't my heroes that come and save the day.
I've come to long for times when I can get away.

I just want to go home, though I don't know where that is.
The childlike perspective on life is what I really miss.
Nov 2014 · 270
Never Heard
Avery Langcaster Nov 2014
No one hears her cries for help.
No matter her volume, she's ignored.
Her voice is just a lost whisper in the abyss.
She knows not if it will return, nor if she can wait any longer.
Stuck behind the glass, she watches her life continue without her.
Always present, but never there.
Nov 2014 · 232
Forever Yours
Avery Langcaster Nov 2014
I'm guilty.
I'm covered in filth.
Who would want me?
Maybe when I've cleaned the dirt off my face, love will take me in.
I must attain perfection before approaching it.
But there's a voice that speaks above my sin.
"Come as you are."
This can't be right.
As I am?
No. I'm a mess.
I'm broken, sinful, and weary.
The answer remains clear.
*"Come as you are, beloved. You're still mine."
Nov 2014 · 230
Avery Langcaster Nov 2014
While he thought of someone else, she thought of him.
There is no deeper pain than this:
To love and not be loved.
Nov 2014 · 3.2k
The Future
Avery Langcaster Nov 2014
My future gives me an anxiety that will last a lifetime.
It will not be controlled.
It will not be known.
It's a rather cruel game, don't you agree? Being clueless to the inevitable.
Nov 2014 · 3.9k
Faith vs Fact
Avery Langcaster Nov 2014
It's called faith, not fact.
But for it to be faith, you must see it as fact.
Nov 2014 · 227
Avery Langcaster Nov 2014
Removing you from my life was like taking alcohol away from a drunk.
I got angry, I begged for your return, but when I was finally sober, I knew it was for the best.
Nov 2014 · 893
When Darkness Reigns
Avery Langcaster Nov 2014
The girl in the day walks towards night, and the darkness swallows her whole.
She doesn't panic, but decides to stay,
"Just for a minute," she says to the light.
So she dines with darkness and dances with sin, giving in to every pleasure.
The girl who came no longer is the same as when darkness met her.

— The End —