This is fake so so fake. All these drugs man they're messing with my mind. It's kinda like I'm ok but I keep feeling like I'm on another planet. Really spaced out? Messing with my head my head are you okay (no) ok well I'm just saying you need to pull yourself together I don't really care about myself right now. I know I'm breaking my body and my brain thinks it's getting better but it's the euphoria. It tricks you. Everything is always ok okay for like an hour. Then it all gets terrible again. Fake. Without antidepressants for four days I thought I was going to burst into tears every 5 minutes. Also the pills' happiness is not real. So fake again. You trick your sad little brain into thinking you're happy. But deep down you can almost feel the darkness inside you getting crushed with this concocted 'medicine.'

So you are content and you're 'happy' but deep in your heart you know your sadness still lives inside you. Pushed into a cell, bolted, until it grows too big and breaks the walls down. So go get your dosage upped and sit in class with your head in your hands and know that there's nothing wrong with you girl. There's nothing wrong with writing poems late at night and crying over people you've lost. You are a forest fire among dimly lit matches. Just because your brain is sick and no one can physically see the bruises doesn't make it invalid. But it is there, always. It cannot be destroyed, only tainted. I know you love harder than everyone else some people aren't used to that kind of love, they can't handle it. I know you still believe and trust every single person you meet. That is your best and worst quality. They're scared of the way you care too much and don't think for a second that the fault lies in you.