Loving me will not be easy.
There will be days too long
To handle my wavering heart
And nights too short
To hold my rarely steady hands.
I won't believe your compliments
And ask to stay in bed
Because the world I live in
Is too dark for
The light of your universe
To get in.

Loving me will be a battle.
There will be wars I wage
And battles I lose,
Ghosts you can never
Chase away
But, will feel every time
You touch my leg,
Arm,
Or lower back.
You'll have to wake up
When I do at 3 in the morning
After they've filled me to the tip
With memories and nights
I don't tell you about.

Loving me will not be easy.
There will always be lead feet
In my shoes
That won't understand why
Yours won't help them
Pick up the pace,
Steel feet that won't understand
Why yours keep getting so far away,
Concrete feet that won't understand
Where they went wrong
If they were never moving
In the first place.

Loving me will be exhausting.
I will watch your eyes
Pack up our laughs
In dark blue bags,
Watch your arms
Throw them over your shoulders,
And watch them sink
Under the burden of demons
You aren't sure are real.
I will watch you carry
Those bags out the door
And dump them down
By our curb.
I'll watch you yawn
As you watch me finally
Wake up for the fight.
Too little, too late
I know;
I know loving me will not be easy
But I know
Loving you trying to love me
Will be.