Sanity isn't Safe in the Hands of Lonely

Her kind of lonely wasn't the kind you just feel It was the kind of lonely she went searching to resolve It wasn't out of the ordinary to find her roaming around looking for traces of him in the dust on the china cabinet or in inanimate objects around the house it wouldn't be peculiar to hear the lull of his favorite love songs playing through the thin walls of her one room apartment. or to see her wipe away a tear as she opened the door and invited you inside It wasn't a rare sight to see her folding up the clothes he had left behind Or typing paragraphs upon paragraphs of things she wished she would've said Unfolding his clothes bunching them up throwing them in the corner I can still see her hiding that stuffed animal he won for her at the fair stuffing it in her closet burying it under a pile of clothes and her own broken promises entombing it deep enough to forget Similarly, I still see her hiding the guilt she had found I see her shoving it under her pillow burying it under stardust and her own nightmares keeping it close enough to remember It wouldn't be bizarre if you caught her refolding his clothes just 'one more time' Putting them back in their drawers Texting him deleting the text before it sent debating throwing out his old toothbrush I remember quite clearly a time when she drank twenty bottles of water all in succession just to feel full again I remember her holding her breath until she'd turn blue claiming she missed the way he took her breath away Her kind of lonely wasn't the kind you just feel it was the kind of lonely that drove her to insanity.

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Written by

foresthag

20 / Non-binary

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