tobacco stains everything
it stains my lungs
my love
my life
my brain
it makes me feel alive
it makes me feel okay
and i've started to believe i’ve become addicted
as the shakes start to settle
and the energy begins to flood through my body
motivating me and immobilizing me
i can't stop smoking and i can't believe it's gotten this far
i believe that
this will take over my life
as much as i don't want it to
it soothes my thoughts
but not my hands
i promised myself i wouldn’t get addicted
not become a slave to the industry that ***** me in
the nicotine keeps me coming back every time
everything keeps me coming back
i literally can't handle the thought of being addicted again
addicted to the thoughts of being addicted
after i drank
after i took
after i smoked
i couldn't be without it
it makes me admits things i'm too afraid to admit to sober
it makes everything come out easier
i want someone to understand that this
makes me afraid
afraid for myself, my life
it makes me afraid that this will be something that ***** my money away
penny by penny
i thought that this would be something easy to quit after so many years of abusing it
i thought that this was something that i could handle
i thought
and i thought
and i guess that’s whats brought me here