Aw yes the blood flowing through my veins
My beating heart that comes to a end
I stand staring at what I thought was love
Then I look around and all I see is blood
I smirk then smile
Knowing your time has come.
If only you knew what you could become
So yes the blood that's flowing through our veins
Can be lost
With a simple cut of a knife
You have to ask
Do I truly want this?
Yet when you see every one bend down
You come to horrendous thought
Everyone looks but no one sees
The pain that's inside of me
One heart sticks out
You contemplate
Can I make that heart stay?
One month six days
Then you feel a cut
You said you promises
A promises you broke
Know we go on with life
Like nothing ever happened
But I feel it in the back of my mind
The fact that maybe you could have been the one
Then I remember the knife being turned
I can't fall asleep without seeing your pretty face
Yet I know when I'm not wanted
I know when I have been tossed aside
Just like a shot gun shell which the angel shot at me
I fell in love
And every calls it infatuation
But I not infatuated
My heart is still beating
Though nobody cares
My pain is still real
Although everyone tells me theirs
I can't breathe some nights
Because all I smell I you
You broke my soul and stabbed my heart
Even though my heart is still beating
I look around and see one thing
The heart that stuck out
Was the heart that broke mine
My heart still beats
And when its done
I hope its because of something fun
I dont want pain
I dont want death
I just want love
Like the next person
I want weirdos
I want nerds
I want people who make me feel good
I want my heart to beat faster for someone
Then someone to just say that
We aren't good
I want someone who loves me like I love them
I want the perfect person
But no one is perfect
Yet when I see the smiling faces
I realize
I want what they have
Someone to talk and laugh with
Someone to share secrets
Then I see the 1 month 6 days
I flinch away
I dont want a month and so days
I want forever and always
Yet it always out of my reach
My first heart is gone
I'm on to a second life
I start at the placed I save
And still couldn't get it right
I smile and wave
Even though I want to cry
When I'm alone is finally
The time the tears fall
They couldn't have fallen they crashed
Crashed through the dam
And onto my cheeks
Then I see the very bad thing
Someone walks in
The dam closes.
I wipe away the tears
I face the person
She stands with frown on her face
Short pretty hair and a glare that's not meant for me
I blink she's still there
She's come to haunt me now
She's alive but I am still in love
Then I look away
I can't stand the sight
I saw her in dreams mutilated
But when she is fine and safe I can't stand it
She broke me and she is still whole
I just want to be whole
The heart that beats is mine
It's beats with a thud
I imagine the day it stops
Everyone stares at me
I am the center of attention
I dont want this
I want freedom
I have trapped my heart
It howls to be free
I get colder and push everyone away
I snap in anger
I bite and scratch
Then I awake
It was only a dream
But the heart ache is real
I look around and see my sisters
They smile and laugh
My brother is being rude like always
Then I  notice the shadow
The shadow is me
I hang in the background with my gloomy mood
I get asked to do things
I do them
Then I remember when I was happier
No has noticed that after she broke up with me I have been crawling back in my shell.
I feel my heart thump.
I smile
It's not real
No one knows the difference so its fine
I pretend
I could be a actor
That or they choose not to confront
But I put up a show
Then I turn and run
Because whats the point if all any one wants is someone to laugh at
I sit down and think
Am I really worth all this pain?
I look up and spot a light
I smile
A actual smile
One that makes my eyes light up.
She has come to save me
My grandma Jane
I hop up and run to her
Darling are you okay?
I hear her ask
No I'm not. My heart and soul have been broken.
She smiles
It will all get better
The last thing she said before she disappeared
I have hope
The heart of mine is beating
That's all I need to know everything happens for a reason.
I'm in invincible now.
I have knowledge
I have my beating heart
I walk out of the darkness and join the light
My eyes light up and I smile more often
The feeling of death moves away
One month and six days are just numbers
But these numbers have meaning
I'm still alive and my heart is still beating
Just because she broke my heart and soul
Doesn't mean I can't be happy
I have new knowledge
I know how to live with someone who isn't interested
I lay me head down and think
*The beating heart I hear is mine and it's going strong.