Being physically close to someone does not bother me- I like being touched. I like hugging and the feeling of someone running their fingers over my back and arms.
But once that physical touch gets a little too close to emotion I push it away. Once someone starts to feel like they have feeling for me, or that I for them, I immediately think of ways to push them away in such a slight way that they do not realize what is happening.
Because the truth is.. The fingerprints left on my skin, the touch I can not scrub away in the shower, will be gone. I will have a new set of skin in a matter of weeks. Skin that hasn't been touch, hasn't been tainted with someone's prints.
But the words that they said to me will forever be printed on my heart. Each letter stamped into my mind where it'll wait to hurt me again, filed away under "Do not go back" until it gets dark and I wander through the shelves trying to find someone, something to occupy myself with. Something to remind myself that I was not always this alone..