I have realised that I actually feel sorry for you.
I feel sorry that you constantly need someone in your life to be happy. I can't imagine how painful it must be to not be able to just be happy on your own, to not rely on a certain circumstance or person, to just feel the emotion unexpectedly and on your own accord.
I feel sorry for you because you are trying to find a way to deal with your own insecurities when meanwhile you are just causing problems for others rather than dealing with them on your own.
I feel sorry for you because you could be such a nice person. Instead you choose to be someone I know you are not deep down; you do it out of anger, spite, hurt. And for what? To get a temporary feeling of satisfaction to try build up your own dwindling self-confidence? To try hurt me as much as I hurt you? All I want is for you to be happy.
And I mean happy on your own. Being happy independently and not needing anyone else to make you feel it otherwise is the best kind of happiness, because it comes from within.
That's all I want from you. And maybe you won't realise this in the beginning, but you will in time.
And that's when you'll realise that you not only lost the person that possibly cared about you the most, but that you'll never get her again.