I remember you hugging me
as I inhaled the scent of masculine cologne
you didn't want to leave
and I did not want to sleep alone.

I remember you making me laugh
as I held my stomach like a small child
I wanted that moment forever
my cheeks hurt afterwards for a long while.

I remember you calling me 100 times a day
checking on me no matter how close,
no matter how far away,
you pleasured me often, I always wanted to stay.

but adolescent rules I had to obey.
a child I was and what we were doing seemed okay.
Now at night I think of you all,
rain in my heart, in my puddle of memories

I drown in our sorrow, I hopelessly lay.