Fifteen. I switch houses every week packing a bag with as many clothes to last me months. I wish I was carrying that bag onto the next flight out of this prison instead of six blocks down the road. Fifteen my parents fight and it sounds like a broken record nobody has the guts to throw away. It's hard to believe you when you say you don't hate each other. I guess that has to do with the fact that you refuse to see each other face to face. Fourteen I'm crying myself to sleep because you're trying to erase the thoughts and memories of you ever being in love. Packing away the wedding gifts and burying the pictures along with the feelings that you killed three years ago. The ones whose grave you never bother to visit anymore. Never letting people lay flowers down by the tombstone because it doesn't matter anymore. Thirteen I force my laugh to cover up my pain when you get embarrassed when you accidentally write my fathers name on the Christmas card. Thirteen I've stopped hanging out with my friends because I hate what's become of me. Twelve. My life gets flipped upside down. You file for a divorce and you sign the papers realizing how much of a mistake this was. How much of a mistake I was. Twelve. I am forced to survive on my own. I grew up 4 years early. I'm afraid to leave my bed because I don't want to mess up. But I guess that at this point it doesn't make a difference because my life has been shattered and I can't pick myself up long enough to sweep up the pieces. Eleven, ten, nine, eight we're happy. I look forward to getting up and starting my day. Sunshine is evident in my eyes and stars twinkle throughout my body, constellations forming in my smile. Seven, six, five I enter kindergarten. Recess was my favorite part of the day. I could actually stand spending time with my family. I lived for dinner time because it meant being together and seeing the happiness wash upon our faces like waves crashing on the seashore. It used to be so beautiful. Five. Four, three, two, one. If only I had known what was going to happen. I would have started packing my bags.

(g.p.)