I am too close to the ever-pressing silence that dominates the mood of my life. Eerie jackals pass me in the hall hungry for a taste. Blank stares and quiet skies interlude with an electric hum.
Why do I cringe? at the thought of a multitude of realities -
My jungle has no king. Tender flesh exposed most delicate in your countenance I don't know your name and there are too many of you to begin with, so I can't end.
Impressions upon the mind carved deep with chisel and talon
Release me from this depth too thick, like a humid morning with an empty white sheet staring back across the way.
That quiet sky speaks no more as I wander near the shore
Thunderous emptiness rumble and control me
In the distance, an echo returning from my silence.
*I am too close.
Written more than fifteen years ago - March 25th, 1998 to be exact - this poem is one of the ones I'm most proud of, and resonates deeply with me right now, as I struggle with depression, anxiety, and PTSD.
I am sure that it could use some editing, but I don't have the heart to desecrate it right now (though I DO welcome constructive criticism)
Strange that I was still a teenager when I wrote this, and it speaks volumes to me as a grown woman.