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Aug 2015
Trigger warning made me smile,
all the bones in my body craved to show,
all the blood in my veins wished to run free.
And then I found myself awake in the middle of the night
wishing for the impossible.

Trigger warning romanticized the struggling,
my blood was red like love,
my hunger made me perfect,
throwing up was liberating,
punching myself were like hugging,
bruises shaped hearts up and down my arms.

Trigger warning reserved a hospital room just for me,
left me unconscious for three days.
Trigger warning taught me how to swallow pills,
how not to eat a thing,
how to keep smiling while bleeding,
where to lay down the blade,
when to lie to my therapist.

Trigger warning makes me cry,
trigger warning leaves me shivering on the bathroom floor,
trigger warning makes my stomach sick,
trigger warning breaks my bones,
trigger warning makes my wrists bleed.

Many people say that love is handing someone else a gun
and point it to your head hopping that they won't pull the trigger.
I didn't gave away my gun,
and now I know I should have,
it would be less dangerous,
because now I spend the nights pointing to my head
hopping that someday I'd have the guts to pull the trigger.

Trigger warning broke my mom's heart,
trigger warning left my body empty and bruised,
trigger warning cut my wings and tied my feet.
Trigger warning made me want to die.
Vianny Sujo
Written by
Vianny Sujo
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