I carry a backpack full of note books and my violin everyday to school I carry a softball glove and a bat and the fear that I’ll have to use them again I carry a flannel and apple scented lotion because it reminds me of her grace and how I’ll never get to see her I carry a cameo about my neck and they story I’ll never know behind it. I carry sheet music and my drama script because I’ve yet to see those change. I carry a friend who loves me and a friend who hates me and sometimes I don’t know which one I’m talking to I carry two silver cups which are the only honour to my name I carry the name of a boy who loved me, but I didn’t love him back I carry old Latin books and the love I threw away I carry music that I want to learn but will never have the time to I carry audition results that made me lock myself in my room I carry the lies upon lies that I told so I wouldn’t be disappointment I carry my grades and the B that cast me from my parent’s grace I carry a vase that I dropped and didn’t mind when the glass cut my feet I carry scars from softball and how I was used as a punching bag and a pawn because I wouldn’t cry I carry the love of a friend that I only knew for a week and the friendship that I wish I could still show her.I hope she sees this and I hope she knows that I could never hate her and was just too much of a coward to answer that message. I carry the thought that she hates me now I carry tears cried in my closet after I couldn’t figure out how to format a chemistry paper and wishing I would just die I carry the humiliation I felt when all my friends got A’s on that paper and I barely managed a C I carry the knowledge that one of my favorite teachers thinks I lied on a vocab quiz to gain half a point. I carry the Wuthering Heights paper and how I worked so ******* hard to be .6 points away from an A. I carry Linton’s fear and the knowledge that I was .6 points away from getting people to believe that our pain mattered. I carry the fear that my best friend, the girl I love, is going to **** herself and I’ll be left with old texts, a letter, and scars that will never heal
based off the first chapter of The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien which I highly recommend