Here comes the bride
Proud down the aisle;
If she knew what I know
She wouldn't smile.

Here comes the groom
Such a handsome gent;
But I know his secret
He's warped and he's bent.

(Refrain)
Fountains of beauty
Such a handsome pair;
I hope someone told them
To wash their ***** hair.

There stand the couple -
See them plight their troth
Shall I tell you something?
I've had them both.

There stands the priest,
Dressed like a swell;
He's nothing special:
I've ****** him as well.

(Refrain)
May blessings from Heaven
Downwards descend;
But don't let the best man
Catch you if you bend.

**(Final Chorus)
Here comes the bride
Legs open wide
She's no vestal ******
As I think I have implied.