Context : I am dealing with alot of what could be termed 'strange thoughts' (if I was talking to a consellor) but they are more into the metaphysical realm (of which my area of ignorance is very large). Dealing with death/life/current experience of 'my 'life''/life after physical death and trying to make sense of what my dreams are telling me (which is the opposite of what my paranoid voice was telling me last week).....so where does that leave me? (listening to music constantly is semi relief but also painful sometimes) - it leaves me dealing with alot of mental fear - my latest coping skill is to throw or project it into its right expectant time in this reality and not have to 'really' face it until it manifests in this reality (if it ever does - or maybe this fear is true in others perceptions of me but they are unwilling to say it straight to my face - for example I was trying to get breakfast this morning and the person at the sandwich shop redirected me to another shop across a walk way - go to the other shop - they redirect me to the first shop - such closed loops can be perceived as a test/fun/bull*hit/etc..... depending on my mental state (ignoring diabetic hunger of course) but it is just an example of how 'my life' currently is - I would prefer to be asleep or drunk or within non human touched nature but that isnt going to happen and I am struggling :-(