I want to travel to space if only to fly directly into the sun
I want to scream at a mirror until I lose my voice
I want to feel the world tremble for me
I want to strike fear and strike first

I want to destroy everything beautiful that I've worked so hard for
I want to watch my own funeral and get lost in the flames engulfing my body
I want to ****; **** love, I want visceral, shallow insecurities to ebb and flow
I want to feel like myself again but in a better body

I want to know why I was made to die.
I want chaos.
I need sleep.
They keep me sick so that I can feel better.
"It's all in your head".