and it's all quite a bit ****** up, isn't it?
              there's fire burning my corners black and my feet are too numb to continue up the mountain
                             and my heart is heavy
and my lips are dizzy
         and i can't fully remember how to be whole
                                                    but i like the way this feels, sick as it is
                        because the shore hates the river but loves the water
and i can't breath, can't make full sentences (how can i be full if my heart is this empty?)
                                        it's okay, though, if only because it has to be
     but i'm not complaining
                   and your eyes adjust to blackness if you've been in the dark for so long