I don't expect you to get why I have such a hard time moving on, forgiving.

But I also don't expect you to get how bad it hurt.

How it tore me apart.
How your four letter word burned.
1. u
2. g
3. l
4. y

How much that twisted
what I saw in the mirror.
And how it killed me to look at those lowercase ls on my wrist and have them spell
fat
and
ugly
and
you
will
never
change...

Maybe I don't get it either, maybe I don't understand why I let it hurt me.

But it did

and
now
we're
here.

Wondering what happened to
our first love.