I need a jolt
just to break away from
the mental exhaustion
that I keep giving myself
a long walk in the park
to keep my brain from falling apart
I keep getting anxious
I keep getting scared that I'll never get my life together
that'll I'll be another statistic outside in all weather.
I'm stuck in a rut
between getting better and doing what I seem to do best, ******* up.
it's crazy because I know where I need to be but not how to get there

it took me this long to admit it but I'm scared.
terrified of what life may or may not do yo me
shivering in my boots at the fact that I have to face reality.
I'm frightened okay?! I admit it I don't know what more I can do...
because more than anything, I just want to be myself without losing you...