Nine months of wanting to be somewhere else
A quest and yearning for home
A countdown of days
Waiting and waiting
Surviving and avoiding death
Every day that passes
A little bit closer to home
Knowing my son is growing in my absence
Wondering if I will see him again
Will he grow up like me?
Without a dad?

Finally home
But things don't feel the same
Like looking through a stained glass window
Familiar faces
Familiar places
But distorted and untrue
Home doesn't feel like home anymore
I feel out of place
And don't know what to do

People ask me if I'm fine
But I lie through a feigned smile
I realize I can't relate to anyone anymore
And especially
That they can't relate to me at all

I am alone
Surrounded by the people that love me

People thank me for my service
But I feel guilty for surviving
When others didn't