May 2015
I know you said to try and not make any more points... But I can't just sit idly by while excellent points are ignored and disregarded in favor of illusions.
You can either choose to embrace and admire my intellect... Or you can attempt to belittle and censor it. The way my mind works is a little different than most, and that shouldn't be a threat to you. It should be an asset.
I'm sure I can be frustrating to deal with because I have yet to tame my ego and temper entirely, but those flaws have been brought to my attention.
I'm only 28, so I am fairly confident that there's still hope for a full recovery. It took you until you were 40 to make any real corrections in your behavior.
I was there with you from 29 until the present time... So I would find it a bit ironic if you expected perfection from me at 28.
Especially when I feel like I'm leaps and bounds ahead of most people my age, or even your age, when it comes to being self aware, open hearted and willing to change.
All I need is love and affection. I've been bullied and rejected and ignored by both of my parents. The only way I know how to react is by assuming that their mistreatment is justified... And to accept it with a sorrowful, silent dignity.
Its not a far cry from my own fears about myself anyhow. I've always been the awkward misfit daughter of a slovenly, ignorant nutcase. If that's enough to make me question my own value and self worth.
It doesn't take much for someone that I trust to convince me that I don't have any anyhow.
What I need from a relationship is someone who understands those things, and is willing to extend their affections to me unconditionally.
If that's too much for you, then I understand. Its hard to show love when you've never been taught it. Believe me, I know.
But I also know that honesty, sincerity and a compassionate heart can solve all of life's issues.
As long as I resonate with that truth, I know that the Universe must respond to it.
A love as intense as mine; A spirit as genuinely captivated by wonder; Inspired by nature and comforted by our inherent divinity...
Cannot... Nay, WILL NOT be left wanting. Of that I'm sure.
I hope you can put down your defenses long enough to see that we are on the same team.
Pride is a silly thing to cling to when there are broken hearts and unmentionable sufferings to address in our own lives and families.
What does a man gain from the glorified conquests of his ego if, in the end, he is to suffer the loss of his own soul?
I love you. That's all I can say. Although I will probably never send you a copy of this letter... I somehow feel better nonetheless. I wish you could hold me one last time.
You can either choose to embrace and admire my intellect... Or you can attempt to belittle and censor it. The way my mind works is a little different than most, and that shouldn't be a threat to you. It should be an asset.
I'm sure I can be frustrating to deal with because I have yet to tame my ego and temper entirely, but those flaws have been brought to my attention.
I'm only 28, so I am fairly confident that there's still hope for a full recovery. It took you until you were 40 to make any real corrections in your behavior.
I was there with you from 29 until the present time... So I would find it a bit ironic if you expected perfection from me at 28.
Especially when I feel like I'm leaps and bounds ahead of most people my age, or even your age, when it comes to being self aware, open hearted and willing to change.
All I need is love and affection. I've been bullied and rejected and ignored by both of my parents. The only way I know how to react is by assuming that their mistreatment is justified... And to accept it with a sorrowful, silent dignity.
Its not a far cry from my own fears about myself anyhow. I've always been the awkward misfit daughter of a slovenly, ignorant nutcase. If that's enough to make me question my own value and self worth.
It doesn't take much for someone that I trust to convince me that I don't have any anyhow.
What I need from a relationship is someone who understands those things, and is willing to extend their affections to me unconditionally.
If that's too much for you, then I understand. Its hard to show love when you've never been taught it. Believe me, I know.
But I also know that honesty, sincerity and a compassionate heart can solve all of life's issues.
As long as I resonate with that truth, I know that the Universe must respond to it.
A love as intense as mine; A spirit as genuinely captivated by wonder; Inspired by nature and comforted by our inherent divinity...
Cannot... Nay, WILL NOT be left wanting. Of that I'm sure.
I hope you can put down your defenses long enough to see that we are on the same team.
Pride is a silly thing to cling to when there are broken hearts and unmentionable sufferings to address in our own lives and families.
What does a man gain from the glorified conquests of his ego if, in the end, he is to suffer the loss of his own soul?
I love you. That's all I can say. Although I will probably never send you a copy of this letter... I somehow feel better nonetheless. I wish you could hold me one last time.
