I have been writing for so
long that i have gotten lost in the pages of the past
A past I am digging in
to find the answers that no one will answer
The dirt under my nails
turns to thorns itching my skin sore
blood starts puring out from my veins
the past is not for beginners
it takes practice to ignore  the pain and guilt that comes with it
I wish i never dug my nails into the ground
searching for myself
I am more lost than ever
Lost in the transition between
who i was and who i want to be
I am digging my own grave right next to a clear tombstone.