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May 2015
Last night I had a nightmare
that everyone I knew was dead
there were bodies all over the floor
there were even some in my bed
When I turned on the light there was blood everywhere
brains were all over the walls
some bodies were headless, some hung from there stomachs
about ready to fall.

When I left my room I ended up in a hallway
and saw a girl cutting her wrists
she looked at me as she heldΒ Β the razor up
and whispered real loudly "you want this?"
I felt ***** coming up my throat and ran to the bathroom
only to find a tub full of blood
lying in it was a naked girl
letting the tub overflow like a flood
I stood there scared out of my mind
until I noticed the girl looked like me.

I screamed and ran into the girl from the hallway
she grabbed me and wouldn't let me breathe
"ISN'T THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?" she yelled
"ISN'T CUTTING YOUR BEST FRIEND?
DON'T YOU SEE? I'M HERE TO HELP YOU!
I'M BRINGING YOU TO YOUR END!
YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO **** YOURSELF BABY GIRL SO TAKE THIS RAZOR AND ******* DO IT!
RID YOURSELF FROM THIS EVIL WORLD!"

I fought her off and screamed "NO!"
I threw the razor on the floor
She laughed and said "are you scared?
I thought you didn't want to be here anymore?"
I fell to the ground and cried hysterically asking God for help
the girl in the hallway just kept laughing while screaming "GOD WON'T SAVE YOU NOW!"
The girl looked at me and said "your pathetic wishing you could die.
You want to be dead so ******* bad go and give suicide a try.
You see that ***** in the tub?
That's you if you make this choice.
You will be nothing but a ****** corpse who will no longer have a voice."

I told her I didn't want to
then she called me a *****
she began to call me stupid as she told me how I was so lucky.
She told me I was strong
but I was choosing to be weak
every time I opened my mouth
she wouldn't let me speak
She told me to make a choice
it was either life or death
she told me to hurry up
because I didn't have much time left
she said "you want to be a quitter, take this razor and slit away
but once you do it your done for
and this is how you'll be remembered everyday.
Or you can **** it up
and be the strong Mandie I know you can be
the one who doesn't give into this **** like a depressed wannabe."

I told her I wanted life
then she asked me "Why?
All you do is complain and you never try.
You want to change the world?
Be the change you wish to see
or else you can **** yourself and spend eternity misreable like me.
You got so much to offer
stop being afraid
stop putting yourself down and listening to what other's have to say.
Cut the ******* and start living
don't wait for life to come to you
and stop thinking suicide is the answer because killing yourself is the worst thing you can do."

I turned around and looked at myself in the tub
that's not who I wanted to be
I want to live and be happy
not dead and lonely
the girl told me "You got one shot, don't **** this up
go back to your bed this will all be gone when you wake up."
As I walked back to my bedroom
all the bodies began to disappear
the blood was no longer on the walls
and I no longer felt fear.
When I awoke the next morning
there was a message on my mirror
"This is your last chance"
and for the first time my future was clear.
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: April. 4, 2013 Thursday 9:11 P.M.
Amanda Michelle Sanders
Written by
Amanda Michelle Sanders  30/F/Bullhead City, Arizona
(30/F/Bullhead City, Arizona)   
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