i used to be a lotus bulb
lurking in cold pond waters
with tiny air bubbles
and plant matter floating around

i used to be a lotus bulb
insects flit across
my gloomy waters
that puff with clouded dirt

my father named me renka
in hopes that i would bloom
despite adversity
and mud

my name is renka,
which means lotus flower
my name is renka
but i am not your lotus flower.