Miracles do happen. All of the time. If you open your eyes you'll see them, you might even notice them in mine. I know everyday for me is a miracle. There's so much love... But that's only because I choose it, because that's what I choose to be made of.
I don't want you to lose it, I don't want you to choose pain. I watched you choose to be alone today, and many other days much the same. You say you want to be better, I just wish you could hear the words...you can. Because I know you so much...better. I know you're a great kind of man. The man that would bring me a glass of water, or let me use him as a walking stick. Or let me hold his hand, even if the thought makes him sick. The same man who makes me see the future, and I mean that literally. The same man who loved me into the woman I always wanted to be.
The same guy who is tender, the same guy who loves so much. Is the same guy choosing to be bitter, but I love him just as much. I know you will be better. I know I cannot help. But all my perfect, God-given happiness just doesn't seem so swell- when you're spiraling and I know it, straight toward a man made hell.
I just want to tell my best friend, who calls me a giggling freak, that right now I really need you and it isn't because I'm weak. It's because my cat is dying, and my ex-boyfriend is confusing and I don't even know if he's still talking to me. And I know that you're the same person, but can we just pretend you're something, sort of in between? Because last night was all about you, and sometimes I could use a day like that for me... But I am so afraid of giving when I ought not to. Do you even know what I mean?
But another friend of mine told me, would you rather say something you don't mean? So I guess I'll just leave with "Please be happy". That is all I need.