It's a mystery to you-
how many moments I spend crying,
seconds closing my eyes,
hoping to disappear

when you call  later
your voice is vivid against the black shadows
of my thoughts

you're a nice friend
asking me how I am.
"I'm fine, I'm always fine"
I say

It's a mystery to you-
how many days I go without company,
hours spent listing my flaws

when you visit later
I'm shocked; You're brighter than I thought

you're a nice friend,
asking me how I am.
"I'm fine, I'm always fine"
I say

and if I see you analyze me
I put on a smile-
*I'm okay, don't you see