are you in a mood again?

i am monochromatic
all grays and blacks and whites
no color
not even your amber eyes

a vacant mind
not even fingertips playing symphonies
across hipbones
can sate this soul

dark
not dark like lack of light
but *Dark
like lack of life
and all i think of is
soothing words and bathroom tile,
stained by blood
from my own veins
maybe suicide should show
her beautiful face a bit more often, yeah?

i just want you to be happy
don’t we all?

I’m lonely
aren’t we all?

haven’t you learned by now
that nothing solves this
satiation does not have a place here
and this life is good for nothing
when all you see
is gray and black and white
i am monochromatic  
and not even amber eyes
can bring me back to life