i've had the same question for days,
and i most definitely am not gonna ask you
this was always about myself
you're gonna scream you never knew
but the only thing worse than not knowing
is you thinking that i don't know.

maybe,
loving you was a reflex
and you never broke me
it always took just a second
for me to crumble down in your hands.

maybe it was never your hands after all.

buzz, buzz, buzz
did i ever love you
or were you an escape?
did i ever love you
or were your name just drops of ink
i needed to fill this crumpled journal.