one was older,
one was younger,
two years difference both ways.
the older one only cared for a short time
until his interests shifted,
for someone older?
maybe more mature?
now two years later
the younger one sees me as a friend;
side hugs and platonic conversations.
but I fell for both anyways.
I fell so hard
the impact stole my breath
and being near them gave me butterflies.
I don't know why my heart always stops
for those I cannot have.
I hate that they can't be mine,
but I still hopelessly love them.

it does work out sometimes,
now the older one is like a brother
but he still sometimes makes my heart flutter.
however, the younger one holds my heart;
clueless of my feelings.

cause, yes, though the heart wants what it wants,
it rarely gets what it loves.