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Feb 2015
I can't cry.
I sit amongst pillars of stone
My mind is empty
The pillars whisper things unknown
I'm left in my thoughts
They scare me
Because they're empty
And I can't cry.

Stop complaining.
My head is shot by my heart
See its past took form
Made a solid pain tipped dart
That was true to its Mark.
Yes everything hurts
And I'm alone.
But I'll stop complaining.

I can't stop singing.
No, the melody is my rescue
From the ocean's sting
On fresh new cuts in me that ring
With dissonance in my mind.
Has my harmony gone?
Is that all?
I can't stop singing.

I can't stop thinking
Each thought brings new pain
To old wounds
That sting like never before
My skin won't stop crawling.
I'm infected.
My thoughts are parasites.
I can't stop thinking.

The hurt isn't leaving.
My mind tells me what I know
The things it says are true
But see I choose to act on them
And that makes all the difference.
No matter what I feel
I chose right.
But the hurt isn't leaving.

It should be leaving.
I made these decisions after all
But sometimes we do what hurts
And have to deal with side effects
That we never intended
My painful dialogue.
Your painful laugh.
It should be leaving.

Please, I beg it, leave.
But it won't
Another has set it loose
This cancer on my heart
No, now it's everywhere
Because it's a cancer
And it hurts
So I beg it to leave

This pain is mine.
I made mistakes in what I said
And in what I did.
Now here I sit in consequence
The greatest hurt I've ever known.
It's excruciating
And I started it.
This pain is mine.

But there's another.
Something has twisted the blade
Pulling more blood from me
I smiling wish I had more to give
But I'm dry.
I loved this thing.
I'd have given my life.
But there's another.

It's all the same.
The thing I love twisted the knife
See I put the knife there
Is it happy?
I stabbed myself. Why does it twist it
I don't know
I wouldn't twist that blade
But it's all the same.

Can't cry.
Musn't complain.
Don't stop singing.
Don't stop thinking.
Hurt won't leave.
Hurt should leave.
Please, hurt, leave.
Hurt is mine.
It's all the same.
It's all the same.
It's all the same.
It's all the same...
Written in the depths of my depression. That's all there is to it.
Samuel Evan
Written by
Samuel Evan  North Carolina
(North Carolina)   
1.6k
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