A present with the label simply saying "who you used to be" filled with old photographs of you being truly happy
A gift bag filled with letters from your old self begging you to stop trying to fix everything and just live
Boxes upon boxes of videos of you screaming into an empty room asking yourself why the fuck you let it get that far
People mailing you Christmas cards filled with their most sincere apologies and condolences addressed to everyone but you
Getting red roses smothered with black paint instead of poinsettias mailed to your door step with a note attached that reads "how could you be so fucking selfish"
Looking into the mirror fixing your makeup for Christmas dinner only to see your mother in the reflection attempting to smear concealer over the smudged mascara on her cheeks while whispering your name
Trying to scrub the red wine stains out of your bedroom floor before realizing its your blood
Attempting to turn down the music or at least change the song just too see a preacher standing over your forever home blessing your soul
Calling 911 and begging them to save you from this building you're trapped in that's engulfed in flames but the other end of the line is nothing but shrieks as the operator recognizes your name from the obituary two weeks ago
C.a.l