The room is scarcely lit
For you need your rest.
But I suspect soon
You will rest forever.
And all of us
Crowded in the room,
We can all see it
But we don't say anything.
We only watch as you lie there,
Still.
We are still too.
It isn't a calm stillness though.
It's the sort of stillness
Where you feel like
You're suspended in water
Or time
Waiting for the next wave
To wash over you.
We are still and breathless,
As breathless as you are
And we wait for your chest
To rise again
Before we let ours follow suit
And when it falls,
The line on that monitor
Levels out
For... Seconds?
Hours?
How long have we been watching it?
Perhaps it was forever.
And then it rises again
As we all inhale.
Repeat. Repeat.
Repeat.
I keep clenching my eyes shut
Because I know one of these times
When they reopen
This terrible scene
Will be just a dream.
Or rather a nightmare.
And I know it's a nightmare.
Please tell me
It's only a nightmare.

But two days later
When I open my eyes
To see you lying
In a casket
Like you could be asleep,
The cancer grabs me
By my shoulders
And thrashes me awake
And spits in my face
And laughs
Because my nightmare
Was real.