It's 1:32 am
and I show no signs of sleeping
There's just this heavy weight on my chest
and I feel choked up.
There's pressure behind my eyes
and the tears are starting to come
and I don't know why.
But the more I sit here,
the more sad I become,
but when I pace I become angry
and then even more sad.
I don't understand why.
Everything is okay right now,
but i'm sad,
and it's stupid because I have no reason to be upset,
I just am.
The thing is
this has been happening for about a week
and I have been trying to be happy,
I have been forcing myself to smile
be optimistic
to laugh
to enjoy myself.
But for some reason,
it's just been so **** hard
as this inexplicable sadness is smothering me.