I feel it moving within
Not sure what it is yet
My heart flutters then beats harder
The fine hair upon alabaster flesh rises
I pace back and forth across the room
Nothing heard but the thump of my heartbeat in my ear
I don't understand what is going on
With every pace I get edgier
Devilish green eyes sparkle beneath scarlett lashes
Suddenly noise breaks through
Dishes breaking, pans clanking
The yelling overtaking it all
Heart pounds faster as my pace increases
I feel like I might break into a run
Each scream makes me cringe
Fists clench
Looking down blood coats my palms
Realizing my nails broke through the skin
Images flash through my mind
Fire, explosions, screams,
I run from the noise below
Feet hit the stairs faster and faster
My blood feels hot
Skin flushed, film of sweat across my brow
I try the calming exercises
Singing between bursts of pacing again
Deep breaths in slow out
Trying to fight it
Yet the fuel feeds the monster
Redheaded monster as I call it
Parents continue their tirade
They don't care what it does to me
I feel it surging forward
Reaching my inner sanctum
Pinching my thigh hard trying to fight it off
Knowing it is futile to fight
Inhaling a deep breath
It surges through me
Blood boils
A noise escapes parted lips
Guttural, filled with pain, resignation, and pure RAGE!
Hands grasp anything they can
Ripping, pulling, tearing
Kicking, stomping, jumping
Screams fill the room as the rage continues to unleash
Why do they do this?
They know it sets me off
Unglues me
Luckily this room is filled with things that are meant for this
My explosions had come less frequent but more volatile
I knew I had to get control
Right now wasn't going to happen
Rage consumes me
Surging like a tidal wave
When triggered I explode
Just like a nuclear bomb
My arms and legs tire
I am weak from the tirade
Falling to the bed
Cool sheets soothe heated flesh
Heartbeat slows
Breathing grows softer
The tiny hairs settle down
I hear the very faint hint of soothing music
Lids fall softly blanketing glistening green orbs
Moisture dries upon cheeks
Body relaxes as all the fire escapes
Leaving behind a beautiful, sleeping form