I don't know if I want children
I don't know if I want to give light to
Another smoke-filled soul of lost purpose,
Another one who has to face what I did.

What if my child were a man?
Then he would know that
The whole world is his challenge and chance
Tells he must be found lacking.

What if my child were a woman?
Then she would be afraid of street corners.
Betrayed by her own body's secrets,
Dragging its conflict for her whole life.

What if my child were intelligent?
Then I would know within them an
Explosion of terrible realisation awaited.
They would wonder why I watch them cautiously.

What if my child were not?
Then they would have the bliss of not
Having to know a better world is far away,
But they would never be asked for their say in it.

What if my child were like me?
Then I would weep, and they would wail.
Lament our cursed flesh and
I would apologise, God I would.

Some people need children to have meaning.
Some people need children to know love.
I hope I don't ever need, because
They scare me more than sickness and health.