I am anything but disgusted with you.
The way you smiled
or the ridiculous squeak in your laugh.
I am anything but in awe the way you  loved me.
or the way you touched me
with such elegance.
I am anything but upset
with the way you made promises, with the way you broke them.

I know tendencies of humans,
and how it is not so easy to stick around with such an unloving soul.
it is treacherous to breathe the same air
of a person who is broken.
I could never have expected you to.
I could never ask such a thing.

I am not mad that you are gone,
I am mad that I let you stay and destroy the person I once was
for the person you thought I should be.