Your face isn't the same face
That scowled me when I was a child
Its softer now - wiser and older.

Your body isn't strong like it should be
A sickness has seeped into
The crevices of your being -
But its spared your heart.

Through a child's eyes you were selfish
Strict and staunch and angry -
Never letting us do as others did.

I thought as a child when I grew up
I'd see differently through an ageing mind
Of how you only meant to protect me.

Sometimes I long for the return of my child-innocence
I am still young, but my life has made me cold.
An aged mind shows a story of a different kind.

All the times I found you crying on the tiles
The way you'd scream and panic in public
Why no one was ever aloud come to our door.

You struggled with the darkness placed in your mind
Day after day you scuffled through
Raising three screaming children
Protecting them from the world and you.

I long to be strong like you mother -
To guide you to the light
And apologise for all the times I added to your plight.