i feel a sensation of falling every time i think of you. the thought of your smile and your arms and how you could suffocate me but instead you chose to hold me. i remember the way you used to stutter when we talk and how red your face got when i laughed at your cheesy jokes. i only ever want your kiss, your touch, your love, i really only ever want you. and i know i will never have the privilege of knowing how that feels. i try so hard to forget you, i drink until i cannot remember my own name and the only thing leaving my lips is youyouyou. and when i wake up tomorrow with bloodshot eyes and an ache in my heart i'll blame the cheap liquor. i would risk my life just to hear you laugh one more time. i am sitting alone thinking of your hand on my thigh and your words swimming around in my brain. one day you will find someone who makes your heart flutter and you will make her the happiest girl alive and that is when i will erase every memory of you from my skin.