I once heard that there are two kinds of love. The first kind is the kind from the movies, the songs, the Shakespearian sonnets, the red-wine-induced conversations; it is the magnanimous amorous empowering love that makes you lose your breath and stumble across your words until you fall so hard you float back to the sky, so emboldened you could conquer the world in one fell swoop and inspire hope in the most hopeless. The second kind is the opposite of empowering for it is devouring, cowering, manipulative, cold, and a road paved with adoring anguish as you pour all of your bloated heart into a desperate wish.
I've become exhausted by door number two and sit on the lip of a hope and a prayer that door number one opens for me before I quit the games(how).