What I have learned in one month...I now know...

I know you have more family and friends than I can fathom;
          They love and miss you dearly.

I know you have a sweet, loving, and beautiful daughter;
          When she holds me----I'm holding you.

I know you have a devastated little brother and sister;
          Wanting the comfort of their only big brother.

I know it is now useless to make plans for the future;
          Life proved harshly---it has a mind of it's own.

I know I could only stand and face the reality this happened;
          After crawling through the dark tunnel of shock.

I know I can experience love and pain, down to my inner-being;
          But not the full depth of one--without the other.

I know I've had pain inflicted to the point I had to surrender;
          Yet still not this intense--this suffocating--this soul-killing.

I know this season of life must carry a much deeper meaning;
          It's not only my eyes, my heart and soul are weeping.

I know some say you won't be my first, last, and only thought;
          That sounds sad to me--And I'm not ready for that.

I know your parents would like you to know how much they love you;
          While praying you can't see them--such heart-wrenching pain.

I know if I had to do it over... knowing of your cancer, then the wreck;
          Not a soul here could stop me, I love you just that much.

12-18-14