What's wrong with me?

Why do I cry sometimes,
Then cry harder when
I don't know why I
Was crying in
The first place?

Why do I look at him
And love him more
Than anything in
the whole world
Then slip away
While he's asleep?

Why do I wake up
And close my
Eyes again because
I don't want to
Live anymore but
I'm far too afraid
To actually die?

Why am I depressed
So much so that
I no longer feel
Anything but the
Cold that lingers
Outside of my
Window promising
Another winter all
Alone surrounded
By Christmas and
Hot-Chocolate filled
Kisses full of love?

Why am I sad
And wishing for
Love that never
Would have gone
Anywhere but down
Hill for everyone?

Why don't I
Love him like
I want to
Instead of promising
Things that I
Can't really make come
True for us?

Why am I so broken
That I can feel pieces
Of me floating
Around in my chest
Scraping against my
Ribs and trying to
Free themselves from
The darkness that
Hides inside me?

What's Wrong With Me?