Sometimes the monsters that we see in our lives aren't necessarily ugly, gory, nor ******

They could have the most sincere-looking smiles;
Flowing, golden locks;
Bold eyes that almost sparkle they speak about something they're passionate about;
Maybe their teeth are so white and straight that anyone would feel insecure about their own;
Maybe their hobbies and talents are similar to yours, and you think that there's no other person out there who could be better of a friend than them, who also remembers all the lyrics of that Red Hot Chili Peppers song;
They could have cute freckles on their nose, or scars that just make them look that much more awesome to you;
Or maybe this person was a huge part of your childhood, and you think they could never abandon you;
They could seem like a good person because they volunteer, go to Church, or participate in organizations;
Perhaps they're close with your other friends, and there's no way they would pick someone mean to join your group;


They could look similarly to any other person in your life,
But they have a vile heart;
They only became close with you to know all your problems, secrets, goals and dreams, and to crush you from the inside out;
They could pretend to be friends with you, only to benefit from it themselves;
They'll ask you nicely, then rip you apart;
They'll get close with your parents: "Hi Mrs. Ferne, you look lovely today!" And will make your parents wish they were you;
They could talk behind your back, and wish for the moment of your downfall to come as quick as possible;
They could pick at your insecurities and make you feel bad about yourself, then end it with a "I'm just kidding!"

Monsters aren't just in movies;
Even the devil was a beautiful angel once.

Check your courage, your humanity, your common decency, your *****, in the cloakroom of pathetic

2. Spend not a nanosecond thinking about how it would feel if it were done to you, reminding yourself how sad, justified, and relieved you feel

3. Debate tween text and email, choose text cause it is shorter, less time consuming, and packs more punch

4. Be proud of your courageous forthrightness in dealing with human problems so directly

5. Immediately (or prior) text all your friends what you have done

6. Make plans for a party so you can begin trolling the field.  Of course not! (invite the ex, that would be cruel)

7. Proceed to smear your ex in person, in secret, to justify how good and kind and used you are and were.  Laser focus on new target person who really turns you on

8. Show around all the ex's break up poems for laughs.

9.  Shampoo and rinse your soul with lye, and repeat, 2 - 3 times a week. If you notice any self improvement, call your doctor immediately!

Before I ever went to school
I thought I knew it all
I could count to ten and back again
And bounce a rubber ball

I could spell my name with no mistakes,
Knew 1 and 1 is 2,
Knew how to say the alphabet
And how to tie my shoe.

Then I went to school and found I didn’t know a lot.
There was so much stuff I had to know I mostly just forgot.
Music, art, and English, physics, bio, French, and math.
Social studies, history, so much stuff it made me laugh.

My younger self had no idea how much more there was to know
The more I aged the more I knew the more I’d learn and grow.
When I finished high school I was smarter than before
I knew I didn’t know it all so I went back to learn some more.
  
This time when I went to school I wasn’t so naïve.
I knew I’d have to hit the books in order to achieve.
If grade school was confusing I figured college would be worse.
If I was going to expand my mind I should expect a lot of work.

There was a lot more subjects and they took a lot more time.
I wondered how there could be room to store so much knowledge into just one mind.
You know that feeling that you get when there’s so much knowledge you feel as though
If they feed you any more of it your head just might explode?
My mind was like a barrel that was filled up past the brim with rocks
And when you tried to add one more, then two would trickle off.
I thought that I would have to quit but there was still so much I didn’t know.
But I chose to stay though doom seemed near because I didn’t want to go.

With failure in my future I bit my lip and I pressed on.
In time I noticed something odd, some of the rocks were gone.
But the rocks had not been falling out as I tossed more in from my hand
They simply had begun to change from rocks right into sand.

All these things I knew
Were now all becoming one
Witch made more room for knowing more
And knowing once more was fun

It wasn’t like when I was small
And thought I knew it all.
But the ease of it was similar
I felt more on the ball.

I recalled before I went to school
And 4 things that I knew:
Spell my name, and 1+1,
ABCs, and tie my shoe.

The one main thing that I know now
That I didn’t know before
This list of things I knew is 2
It isn’t really 4.

Because I know my adding
It is very clear to see
I tie with laces 1 and 2
Not laces 1 and 3.

I spell my name with no mistakes
Because I know my ABCs.
It doesn’t mean that I know less
I just know with much more ease.

At first the more you know and know
The bigger is the mess.
But when it comes together
The load becomes much less

For when your barrel is so full
You think it will explode
The rocks will blend together
And you’ll have more room to grow.

To make someone smile while reading what you write is always an achievement to me. I love to play with words and to be able to write and let the readers relate to it and learn from it is satisfying.

But, why does it not work in real life when talking?

I have 99 problems and having to be stuck in my thoughts and letting people down because I could not help them with their problems just made me guilty.

Am I not a good friend because of this?

I tried, but I can't.

Because most of the time, I have not been tested. I have not taste the taste of defeat, the taste of depression, the taste of feeling like your soul want to break free from the confine place and the taste of not knowing what to feel.

I have not felt how it is like to just sit and you do not know what to feel. You want to scream and break alk thing and cry and just release everything out but it just would not escape and you end up hurting yourself.

I have not felt how it is like to run away from an explaination.

I feel like I am not loved for not being tested with all these challenges.

I want to be able to relate those pain, and help them with my words but all I do is lend a shoulder to cry, a hug to be shared because that is all I could offer.

I can't describe -
How the yearning hides.

How it waits
Until the dead of night,
To wear upon the mind.