PhantomDreamer

PhantomDreamer 14h

Patience
Cause you know without a doubt
they can't break you
You'll never ask for help that's how they
take you
Can't shake you
Won't change you

You're being pushed into the deep end
Sinking to the bottom
Running out of air
Is it ever gonna stop
You'll never know for certain
If your lungs give out
So you fight with all your might
And **** your doubt
Go without

All clarity
The dark that grows inside
It's a masterpiece
It turns you inside out
And you have no relief
And it's hard to see
Or too far to see

You're being pushed into the deep end
Sinking to the bottom
Running out of air
Is it ever gonna stop
You'll never know for certain
If your lungs give out
So you fight with all your might
Knowing without a doubt
You'll get out

Your breath
Is catching in your throat
Your vision starts to blur
So easy just to go- whoa
You tried
But can you really make it
You're counting down the seconds
Your freedom, it beckons
Just hold on

You're being pushed into the deep end
Sinking to the bottom
Running out of air
Is it ever gonna stop
You'll never know for certain
If your lungs give out
So you fight with all your might
You'll survive, still alive
You got out

PhantomDreamer 1d

Soon, little one, soon

I'm so sick of living in fear
It feels like dying
But I don't want to die
I just want to be free

PhantomDreamer 2d

I still feel fear, I still feel pain

The weakness I feel
For the terror in my chest
Ashamed, perhaps
By something I was created to endure
But I always forget
That I wasn’t created to be fearless
But to overcome
To overcome
And so I will

PhantomDreamer 3d

This is

This is
Listening to my sister sob in the next room
This is
Flinching at every noise I hear through my door
This is
Watching YouTube on my computer, mouse hovering over the X on the screen, ready to hide
This is
Heart-pounding, fight-or-flight-inducing terror
This is
Mind racing, preparing excuses in my head for any possible attack
This is
Counting the minutes until I can escape
This is
A normal Sunday in the redacted house

PhantomDreamer 3d

Drowning

Drowning out their screaming
I escape into beautiful worlds in my mind
Attempting to forget the one my body is trapped in
Loud music echoing through my ears
To still my pounding heart
If I must be held captive in this hell
At least I can flee to my dreamstate
And find some semblance of peace

PhantomDreamer 3d

Awakening

everything is falling down around me and im realizing all the pillars they have used to protect me are built on lies and conceal a cage

Finally posting some old drafts because the feelings are too heavy to sit in the basement and even chaos and disorder deserve to be seen

PhantomDreamer 3d

You

Every time I look at you
I see forever
Reflected in your perfect brown eyes

Every time I think of you
I long for you to press your lips to mine

I could spend eternity
Admiring you
You show me your masterpieces but I can’t stop looking at the most perfect one of all

It hurts
But I never want it to stop

If loving you will be my downfall
Than I’ll jump in before giving you up

When I can’t breathe because I see you in my mind
I’m just so grateful that you at least call me a friend

Though you’ll never truly call me yours
I hope this hell called unrequited love
Will never end

Wrote this a few months ago. I’m hoping I’m finally able to move on this year